You’re cutting me off? I’m cutting YOU off.
Guess who’s back?
Dear Diary,
I told my barber I wanted to look like Justin Bieber. Instead, he gave me a haircut that makes me look like an emo fag. Mark my words, he will rue the day he crossed me.
“Yo mom. When we’re done playing footsie here, you got some cooking to do. What did I tell you? BABIES REIGN!”
“I’m still working on my daggering routine. But, as my teddy bears will attest, I have been practicing!”
![“Miller Lite is for pussies.”
[via]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l3tdm3LzVC1qz9m8ao1_250.jpg)
“Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore. “
“I just can’t stand all the tannins in red wine, you know?”
Q: Lately, I’ve noticed that my son gives up on homework or games when it isnt’ going his way. He has also mentioned that he feels like his friends don’t like him (which I don’t think is true). I want to make him feel good about himself. How can I help nuture his self esteem so he can be the best he can be, and feel good too?
Um, how about you stop riding his jock and let the kid party like a toddler?
“Who’s getting psyched for the World Cup? By the way, don’t even THINK about icing me, bro.”
